noplasticshowers

Usually Japanese five star hotels have something to teach the world about hospitality. Impeccable staffs. Modern design. Fine dining. The Okura has it all…almost. So close.

We were assigned room 2009, a junior suite (with an emphasis on junior). The room includes a beautiful canal view over the city, a closet that is slightly too small with too few hangers and that insists on closing itself, an HVAC system with a mind of its own, and a rectangular design familiar to hamsters everywhere. But the bathroom is nice. The shower is glass excellence. The toilet is properly complicated with its own remote control. The TV remains off. And the bed is comfortable.

When the couch and the bed are separated by a desk, you may apparently declare yourself a suite.

There was a personalized note.

The bathroom is very well appointed but architecturally stuck in hyatt mode. That beige is so HOA.

But the shower? Yes please.

Our check in was facilitated by a young woman who was in over her head. Could we arrange a boat ride? The public internet says no when she clicks a website or two. But then the concierge gets word of it and a private boat does indeed appear. Training training. I wonder if we might have scored an upgrade had someone else checked us in.

We stashed our stuff in the too small closet, phoning down for some hangers.

First some oysters. Our experience at Serre was marred by one loud talking Flemish businessman on his phone—the only other table in the restaurant. The staff, being utterly powerless to intervene, helped us switch tables. Why were we the ones to switch? Management would probably know, but there wasn’t any.

At 7pm we met our captain in the lobby for a boat ride just after dark. Absolutely excellent. We had champagne. We saw Amsterdam in a new light. The Okura has its own docking.

On birthday morning, Romey put cards everywhere. One or two showed up only the next day! So sweet. Like a banana.

The excellent hosts at breakfast knew all about our birthday too. In fact, the breakfast staff (even the flummoxed one who we lied to on the last day) were all very good. We were greeted by name each morning. There was a cake (this became a theme of the trip with four cakes all told).

Then it was off with Noelie and Lisa for a walk through town. Followed by the BIG SURPRISE which somehow Noelie and I kept secret for several months (a new record for us)…Florence and the Machine at the Ziggo.

The show was excellent and was our real reason for being in Amsterdam.

Sadly on birthday night, after our delayed return from the Ziggo, we were turned away on 23 WELL BEFORE CLOSING by a persnickety French guy. We did not like this one bit. It was all papered over later by Markus Vennemann who got to the bottom of it all over email. But really. Do better Okura.

We went to a dive bar instead and had a great time teaching the young bartender how to make a Toronto and a General’s Orders (after we sent him to the back to dig out the Fernet). Much fun was had.

All in all, 23 was great. Paul remembered Noelie from 9 years earlier. And our server Jean-Paul who greeted Romey and me on the first evening before the boat ride was just outstanding.

We even had a reunion.

It was downstairs after several martinis to Yamazato—the Japanese restaurant still in very high regard (and one of Florence’s favorites from years gone by. We had so much fun that the wait staff was not quite sure what to do with us.

The next morning came quite early, this day slated for a visit to the Rijkmuseum (somehow we need to remember not to go here) and the excellent modern art at the Moca. (We were too late to pull the trigger for Van Gogh, but we will be back and it will still be there.)

Breakfast was once again delightful. But by far the most fun part of the day before dinner was removing the TikTok girls from posing on the window ledge bench. So much fun. “Zero friends, zero likes?! What the hell??”

A second highlight of the trip and one of the best meals of a lifetime happened next. The chef’s table at Ciel Bleu is an experience not to miss. Chef Arjan Speelman is a super genius. He is also a genuinely nice person.

A planned visit to Door 74 was postponed due to utter bliss.

The next day we drove to Lichtervelde with Madou at the wheel, refamiliarizing ourselves with the bleating of sheep.

All told the Okura was a very good base of operations for our Amsterdam birthday leg. We would issue five showerheads, but it’s almost closing time. So four stars and some training improvement requested by management. Is there management? We may return.